Today’s Episode
Why do some Chinese people ask about your salary or marriage plans? In this episode, we explore biānjiè gǎn—the sense of boundaries—and why it’s different in Chinese culture.
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Not all questions are rude in China! In our MaoMi Chinese+ on 22nd April, we explore the surprising topics that are totally okay to ask in Chinese culture—and teach you the polite ways to ask (or avoid) them!
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大家好，欢迎回来MaoMi Chinese！上个星期，我们聊了“胖”。有些朋友问我：“为什么中国人会说别人胖？他们不会觉得没有礼貌吗？”我觉得这个问题非常有趣，因为不同的文化，有不同的边界感。今天我们来聊一聊“边界感”。
“边界感”就是人和人要有的距离感。不同的文化里，边界感也不一样。今天我们要讨论的是为什么在中国，很多时候人们的“边界感”比较少。
在中国，很多家庭住得很近，或者住在一起。大家习惯了和家人、朋友待在一起，生活也比较亲近。所以，中国人可能没有那么注意个人空间。
比如在很多地方，像地铁或者公交车上，很多时候人们站得很近。虽然有时候感觉有点挤，但中国很多人都觉得这样没关系，大家习惯了这种亲近。
而且，在中国文化中，很多人不太在意“私人空间”，而且也有一些习惯可能让外国人觉得有点奇怪。比如，很多时候，中国人比较喜欢直接问别人的隐私，比如收入多少，结婚了没有，有孩子没有等等。这种问题可能在其他文化中是隐私，不应该问的，但是在中国，这样的话其实是很常见的。如果你和中国的老人说话，那就更常见了。
另一个常见的事情是，很多中国人在公共场合说话比较大声。公共场合，就是很多人的，大家都可以去的地方，比如餐馆和商场等等。虽然有时会让人觉得有些吵，但是这其实是因为中国文化中，人们习惯了，喜欢说话大声，让别人听到，也喜欢表达自己。
还有，在中国，大家在一起的时候，很喜欢亲近，不太喜欢有很多距离。所以，当你和中国人做了朋友或者同事，他们可能会关心你的生活，比如会鼓励你减肥，或者关心你什么时候结婚，什么时候买房等等。
当然，现在很多中国人觉得隐私很重要，尤其是年轻人，认为边界感很重要，也很尊重别人的隐私和边界感。
你怎么看呢？你觉得你的文化和中国文化的边界感有什么不同吗？欢迎给我们留言，和我们分享哦！
Hello everyone, and welcome back to MaoMi Chinese!
Last week, we talked about the topic of being “fat”. Some listeners asked me, “Why do Chinese people say others are fat? Don’t they think that’s rude?” I thought that was a really interesting question, because different cultures have different ideas about personal boundaries.
So today, let’s talk about “biānjiè gǎn” — the sense of boundaries.
Biānjiè gǎn refers to the sense of space and distance people keep between one another. Different cultures have different ways of seeing this. Today, we’re going to explore why, in Chinese culture, people sometimes seem to have a weaker sense of boundaries.
In China, many families live very close to each other, or even in the same home. People are used to spending a lot of time with their family and friends, and life feels more closely connected. Because of this, Chinese people may not pay as much attention to personal space.
For example, in many places like the metro or on the bus, people often stand quite close together. It might feel a bit crowded at times, but most people in China don’t mind — it’s just what they’re used to.
Also, in Chinese culture, people don’t always think much about “personal space”. And there are some habits that might seem a bit strange to foreigners. For example, Chinese people often ask quite personal questions, like “How much do you earn?”, “Are you married?”, or “Do you have children?” In many other cultures, these are private topics and not something you’d ask casually. But in China, it’s actually quite normal to have these kinds of conversations — especially with older people.
Another common thing is that many Chinese people speak quite loudly in public. Public places — like restaurants, shopping centres, and so on — can get noisy. But this is very normal in China. People are used to speaking loudly so that others can hear, and it’s also a way of showing energy and enthusiasm.
Also, when Chinese people spend time together, they tend to enjoy being close. They don’t usually try to keep a distance on purpose. So, when you become friends or colleagues with someone Chinese, they might take a close interest in your life — they might encourage you to lose weight, or ask when you’re getting married, or when you’re planning to buy a house!
Of course, things are changing. Nowadays, many Chinese people, especially younger ones, think privacy is really important. They care more about personal space, and respect other people’s boundaries too.
So, what do you think? How do boundaries in your culture compare with those in China? We’d love to hear your thoughts — feel free to leave us a message and share your ideas!
谢谢您选择的很有意思的话题！您届时中国文化让其他人了解为什么有些中国人喜欢问比较隐私的话题。希望未来中国年轻人会改变这个对别人的习惯。
在丹麦，我们已经很擅长给予人们“个人空间”，实际上有点太好了——有不少人是孤独的。
是的啊 中国人没有边界感 哈哈 有的时候这些问题让我吃惊地不说话就转身走的 有时可以随便回答 边界感不是最大的痛点 哈哈 最大的痛点是很多人在公共场合抽烟得多